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From: Rebecca Taft (no email)
Date: Fri Apr 13 2007 - 14:41:54 EDT
Well, I hope no-one knows me on this list…and I cant even believe Im putting
energy in to talking to the guys that have the ignorance to write some of
this stuff…
I once married a guy who said he wanted to sail around the world with me. He
said he wouldn’t go until I knew more…after all it takes 2 to go around the
world says he. SO I studied, read, practiced, etc for 10 years…then I said-
OK I think IM ready. Of course the more I learned the less interested he was
in it all. He of course said that we couldn’t go around the world because we
needed a better boat than what we had- a Catalina 36…So I worked hard to get
the boat sold, and found and purchased a Valiant 40….he couldn’t use the
boat as a poor excuse anymore…Then I saved my money and had enough to go for
a few years….Then he said he never really wanted to go in the first place.
SO what did I do…I divorced his ass!!! And I went out and found a guy who
wanted to sail around the world with me. My fiancé calls me the beautiful
chic that came with a paid for boat, and knows or can figure out anything to
do with any system on the boat! We have been working on getting ourselves
and the boat ready for 3 years now…and it goes in the water at the start of
July. I was so bummed out when I found out that really we are going to just
be living on it for 3 months before we depart…that we won’t be able to sail
that much quite yet.
Anyways, point being…yeah there are a LOT OF WRONG PEOPLE out there for
sailing! Many nice people, but not sailors. And a sailor MUST have a sailor
or its just doomed…We are a rare breed- male or female who enjoy going out,
getting wet and cold, living in a small space, conserving water at all
times, losing a lot of sleep!!! We are a rare bunch that find the joy in
sailing. I almost wish I wasn’t one of them- I could have maybe saved my
marriage if I didn’t love this sport and my boat more! Its in our blood…we
cant get it out…sometimes we hate it ourselves, but we know we will always
come back for more. We look nutty to most of the world…there’s only 1 in a
1000 people who really like this stuff!!! It’s hard to find a partner who
likes it, no loves it, embraces, it , lives for it like some of us do! Male
or female!! Almost always one person is dragging the other!!! Obviously you
have been dragging people aboard with no plan, no forsight, just a bunch of
wishful thinking…and then putting down woman who may be great golfers, great
at something else, just aren’t sailors…what did you expect? I wasted 40
years of my life hoping a guy would come around and become a sailor with me,
a hard core, full time, passionate sailor like me…but I wasn’t looking in
the right places…til I went on a rally one day :-)
Where did you meet the woman you talk about- at a bar? At church? Playing
golf? At work? What do you expect – that you are going to change someone’s
inner core to like a sport that is inherently uncomfortable some of the
time, just because they thing your cute? Do you think you are just gonna
luck out? Go look in the right places to find a sailing partner and maybe
you will find one. I signed up to cross an ocean in really bad weather, not
to find a guy but to try to stop myself from liking sailing so much. It
didn’t work…I didn’t mind taking my watch and throwing up every few hours
during it. It was a great challenge…I wanted more…I also met the man of my
dreams on that trip….someone who couldn’t wait to do it again too…someone
who wanted to make his second circumnavigation with company this time. I
went in cautiously…didn’t want to fall in love with someone who didn’t
really want to go. You know what’s really funny…we saved our money together
buying and selling houses…and secretly we were BOTH saving on the side too
to make sure it would happen no matter what!…and both of us ended up saving
within a few thousand dollars of each other on the side…so we doubled our
sailing kitty….that’s 2 people that really want to go!!! And we are going!!!
What do couples do that one person really wants to go and the other
doesn’t…Anyways- my point is…why don’t you look at other people who are
already sailors, who dream of sailing around the world, so you can share the
same common goal. DO you think wasting your time on a board like this
rambling about how useless people you have sailed with are, will get you
somewhere? If you want to sail by yourself…go, go sail by yourself…I dont
think anyone will stop you….and if you want to sail with someone you love
and who loves you, stop looking in the wrong places, and stop being a jerk
of a guy, and maybe someone will want to drag you along with them!!! Maybe
they will even let you cook once in a while or haul the anchor if you
behave!
Maybe you are a gruff, captain who likes just to yell and get impatient
like so many of the male sailors out there!!? Maybe you rush to do all the
lifting, raising sail, unhook from mooring when if you had a real sailing
woman on there with you she would make you look like a fool. Maybe you
think you want a woman to be right there alongside of you loving everything
you love about sailing- but maybe you just want her to do the things you
don’t like doing – like cleaning the head and making the meals- if that’s
the case, maybe you will never find anyone to sail with!
With all that said, I hope you will keep on announcing the things you have
announced in your email about woman…make it very verbal, very known….so that
all the single sailing woman can recognize you as one of the old fools with
no class, that they wouldn’t want to be trapped on the water with…before we
waste our precious time with another sailing guy who has no clue, and only
knows how to singlehand…no clue at being a captain…or mate for that matter
:-)
Rebecca
_____
From: [mailto:]
On Behalf Of Michael Lahrkamp
Sent: Friday, April 13, 2007 12:54 PM
To:
Subject: RE: [world-cruising] Re: Life changes bring a new opportunity
Amen brother ... been there... especially the part about needing to be
back by 4pm... which they tell you at 3pm and your 7+nm out!
The trick is to find out in advance whether the lady will be high
maintenance. Not to difficult to determine if you watch their behaviour
in advance. 'Course you're assuming the risks if sailing IS the first
date.
Fair winds,
Mike
Beneteau 411, Toronto, Canada
________________________________
From: world-cruising@ <mailto:world-cruising%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com
[mailto:world-cruising@ <mailto:world-cruising%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of summer2004
Sent: April 13, 2007 12:04 PM
To: world-cruising@ <mailto:world-cruising%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [world-cruising] Re: Life changes bring a new opportunity
I never re-think, nor do I apologize. "In my opinion" .. the women I
have met are pathetic complainers who are pains in the ass.
They want to go sailing .. I invite them.
On Saturday morning they show up at 11:45 am. I have been pacing for
hours.
Once they unload their belongings, the first question is "have you had
lunch"?
Next, they ask, "why don't we just hang out in the harbor so I can get a
tan".
I end up doing all the lifting, raising sail, unhook from mooring, etc.
As soon as the boat starts to heal "holy shit, we are turning over".
Then, when the boat is a few miles out they tell me "I must be back at
4pm".
HELP..
You can go on all day long about the great women sailors of the world.
Both of them are swell.
But .. in my opinion .. women are pathetic when it comes to anything
having to do with sailing.
I'd rather sail alone.
sweetdreamswi@ <mailto:sweetdreamswi%40wi.rr.com> wi.rr.com
<mailto:sweetdreamswi%40wi.rr.com> wrote:
You obviously haven't seen too many people out there sailing because
there are alot of very capable women sailing single handed and also
cruising full time taking an equal partnership with handling the boat.
You should rethink your statement and correct.
----- Original Message -----
From: grant harris <gharr8 at yahoo dot <mailto:gharr8%40yahoo.com> com
<mailto:gharr8%40yahoo.com> >
Date: Thursday, April 12, 2007 4:18 pm
Subject: Re: [world-cruising] Re: Life changes bring a new opportunity
To: world-cruising@ <mailto:world-cruising%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com
<mailto:world-cruising%40yahoogroups.com>
> Don't be offended, Tender Spirit.
>
> Men leave women. Women leave men. I dont think either gender
> owns the rights to being victim or victimizer.
> Each gender bashes the other fairly regularly. It just depends
> what forum a person might happen to be reading at any given time.
>
> polar_palm_tree <polar_palm_tree@ <mailto:polar_palm_tree%40yahoo.com>
yahoo.com
<mailto:polar_palm_tree%40yahoo.com> > wrote:
> WOW!
>
> > I may be a tarnished old single guy but: women are useless on a
> boat. They complain constantly. And the older they get the more
> pathetic they are on board.
> >
> I am sorry you feel that about all women. I am a woman, I take offense
> to that statement.....maybe it's just the women you have associated
> with. I know many women on boats both sailing and commercial fishing
> skippers that certainly do not fit in that catagory!!!!! Please don't
> sterotype us!
>
> S/V Tender Spirit
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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