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From: summer2004 (no email)
Date: Thu Apr 12 2007 - 09:28:05 EDT
Mike ,, another secret revealed. According to Dr Harmony Forlife, the easiest way to dump the old wife and find yourself a boat is to leave old issues of Good Old Boat magazine in the toilet area.
Soon, the little lady { she was little when you married her before she decided to taste test the Hershey Chocolate Factory }, will ask "honey [ or "hey, asshole" depending on at what stage of her dependency on candy she has reached ] , mother wants us to take her on another cruise this spring, she really loved the Guy Lombardo theme cruise we went on last year".
Then she will slowly lay the GOB mag on the table. She will open the first page and say "what a waste of money, all these people do is work on their stupid boats".
"But dear, after they work on the boat, they go off and see the world, sailing, letting the wind take them to ports, living life with nature all around them, the sun, the sea, life"! "I think you would love sailing". You will say.
"Sure, sure, like a fat dope like you could sail a boat, shit, you couldn't even be relied upon to get the cab for mother's trip to her grammar school reunion which was a big deal since she didn't have a chance to go to high school after she got pregnant in the eighth grade by that nasty teacher who is my father".. "oh, one more thing, dad is visiting for the summer". She says as she dips her chocolate covered fingers into her mocha coffee drink.
Alas, you find yourself at the lawyer's office, divorce is swift and painful. But not as painful as the theme cruise with the ghost of Guy Lombardo.
Once you have found the perfect little sloop. And your off for a cruise, just remember one of Guy Lombardo's big hits.
Enjoy Yourself ! It's later than you think.
You work and work for years and years, you're always on the go
You never take a minute off, too busy makin' dough
Someday, you say, you'll go fulltime (*have your fun) when you're a millionaire
Imagine all the fun you'll have in your old rockin' chair
Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think!
Enjoy yourself. While you're still in the pink!
The years go by, As quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think.
You're gonna take that RV (*ocean) trip, no matter, come what may
You've got your reservations made, but you just can't get away
Next year, for sure, you'll go fulltime (*see the world), you'll really get around
But how far can you travel when you're six-feet under ground?
Your heart of hearts, your dream of dreams, your ravishing brunet
She's left you and she's now become somebody else's pet.
Lay down that gun don't try my friend to reach the great beyond
You'll have more fun by camping with (*reaching for) a redhead or a blond.
Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think!
Enjoy yourself. While you're still in the pink!
The years go by, As quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think.
You never go to campgrounds (*nightclubs) and you just don't care to hike (*dance).
You don't have time for silly things like campfires (*moonlight) and a bike (*romance).
You only think of dollar bills tied neatly in a stack
But when you kiss a dollar bill it doesn't kiss you back.
Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think!
Enjoy yourself. While you're still in the pink!
The years go by, As quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think.
harriswillys <> wrote:
Howdy folks,
A few may recall me posting from Austin, Texas; my Bride and I were
fixin' to retire and go cruising at some unspecified date in the
future.
Alas, my Bride indicated that she no longer wishes to be married to
me. Not one to fight the inevitable, I've relocated to Seattle
Washington. The dream of sailing around the world remains intact
albeit without the one with whom I intended to share the adventure.
I'm pleased to report that with the abundance of blue-water boats in
the PNW and my share of the (not insubstantial) assets of our
marriage, I can fulfill the dream in a much shorter time span -
within the next six months to a year.
So, one door closes and another opens. I'll be shopping for a boat
with blue water capability and heading out by and by.
Any advice from the "salts" on the list is very much appreciated.
Fair winds,
Mike Harris
Seattle WA
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