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Subject: [worldcruising] ROTFL
From: Caesia (albia3@XXX.XXX)
Date: Thu Aug 31 2000 - 14:52:41 EDT
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Hope all are well - I have been away in Japan for the past two
months and now am back in Canada for school - so I doubt I will
be reading/interacting here much until the winter break - so I
just wanted to say hello and put a smile on everyone's face for
the day! at least I hope so!
Cheers!
If this story does't make you roll on the floor laughing - I
don't know what will! Hee, hee...
> Next time you think you have had a bad day at work, think
about this
> > guy...
> >
>
> > Brian is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers
out of
> Louisiana
> > and performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below
is
> an e-mail
> > he sent to his sister. She sent it to Laugh line and won
the
> contest.
> >
> > APRIL 1998
> >
> > Hi Sue,
> >
> > Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last
week I
had
> a
> > bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at
> work, so I
> > though I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's
not
> so bad after
> > all.
> > Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you
with
> a
> > few technicalities of my job. As you know my office lies
at the
> bottom of the
> > sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of
year
> the water
> > is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a
diesel
> powered
> > industrial water heater. This $20000 piece of shit sucks
the water
> out of
> > the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It
then pumps
it
> down to
> > the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air
hose.
Now
> this
> > sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several
times with
no
> complaints.
> > What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I
take
the
> hose and
> > stuff it down the back of my neck. This floods my suit
with warm
> water. It's
> > like working in a Jacuzzi.
> >
> > Everything is going well until all of a sudden, my ass
started to
> itch.
> > So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
worse.
Within a
> few
> > seconds, my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my
back,
> but the damage
> > was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The
hot water
> machine had
> > sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This is
even
worse
> than the
> > poison ivy you once had under a cast. Now I had that hose
down my
> back. I don't
> > have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't get
stuck to my
> back. My
> > ass crack wasn't as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was
an
> itch I
> > was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass.
> >
> > I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator.
> His
> > instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along
with five
> other
> > divers, were laughing hysterically. Needless to say I
aborted the
> dive. I was
> > instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling
> 35
> > minutes before I could come to the surface for my chamber
dry
> decompression. I
> > got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My
suit
and
> gear were
> > tied to the bell. When I got on board the medic, with
tears of
> laughter running
> > down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
shove it
"up
> my ass"
> > when I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but
I
couldn't
> shit for
> > two days because my asshole was swollen shut. I later
found out
that
> this
> > could easily have been prevented if the suction hose was
placed on
a
> leeward
> > side of the ship. Anyway, the next time you have a bad day
at the
> office, think
> > of me.
>
> > Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to
shove a
> > jellyfish up your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the
office.
> But if you do, I
> > hope this will make them more tolerable.
>
>
ALSO:
Please check this group out!: http://www.HumanHorizons.net/
they are involved in enlisting cruising yachts from around the
World to share their talents and experiences with Developing
Countries and/or to act as support vessels for HH projects.
This involves liaison with vessels at sea, with Ham Radio/SSB
Networks and liaison with yacht clubs and sailing associations.
I have had some contact with a few of these yachties, they are
presently docked at Vancouver Island and are heading for the St
Jauns until winter.
I won't be here again for three months or so but I will be
checking and recieving my e-mail if you want to get a hold of
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