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I have many stories of transiting the huge locks on the Columbia River. But
if you want to hear the hilarious stories, talk to the lock-masters. They
have seen everything.
Here's a common scenario in our part of the world. One of the local yacht
clubs out of Portland is headed for their annual up-river cruise. Maybe 25
boats of various flavors and sizes with skippers of various levels of
experience including first-timers through locks.
Everyone arrives at the Bonneville Dam locks (first locks on the river) at
the same time as they are cruising as a flotilla (something I hate to do and
will not do - I'm a "meet you there" kind of guy.)
The fleet captain calls the lockmaster and arranges for the fleet to enter
the locks. All 25 boats (they are very big locks) can enter at the same
time, but once inside, they must all make fast to each other and the
perimeter vessels must tie off on the massive floating bollards. Nothing
happens until all are secure.
So envision this scene as 25 boats and skippers of various skills try to
squeeze into this lock to form one large raft. A few experienced skippers
go in first, then a few more, then a novice gets sideways in the locks, with
10 boats holding station in the river current behind. The novice panics and
starts to try and maneuver where there is no place to maneuver. He bumps
and scrapes into surrounding boats. Another vessel behind is forced to
maneuver and he gets all out of shape and crosswise and so it goes. Some
vessels actually get turned around 180 degrees.
Pretty soon you have this cauldron of boats, angry skippers, angry gestures,
red faces, hurt feelings and bruised egos. Of course, the lockmaster and
150 or so visitors to the locks, are watching all of this from on high.
Further, the lockmaster has a huge speaker system from which he transmits
"suggestions" as to how to get the boats all squared away. So it's a very
public and humbling display. Some never recover and will not transit the
locks again. It's another reason I travel alone <G>.
If you throw a big commercial tug and barge into this mix, it gets even
crazier.
We love traveling up-river on the Columbia. Transiting the massive locks
all the way to Idaho is a great experience. But not on a Sunday with the
entire yacht club accompanying.
Joe Engel
