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From: (no name) (no email)
Date: Mon Dec 08 2003 - 21:49:17 EST
Received from another list.
My apologies to those with a slow connection, but this begs to be put on
this list.
Enjoy
Lew
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
RE: Pizza Hut Order
Operator:
"Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
Customer:
"Hi, I'd like to order."
Operator:
"May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer:
"My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,
it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator:
"Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the
phone number's 494-2366.
Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is
745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566.
Which number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer:
"Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer:
(Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order
a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."
Operator:
"I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer:
"Whaddya mean?"
Operator:
"Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got
very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
Your National Health Care provider won't allow
such an unhealthy choice."
Customer:
"Damn. What do you recommend, then?"
Operator:
"You might try our low-fat Soybean
Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"
Customer:
"What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator:
"Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library
last week, sir.
That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer:
"All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
What's the damage?"
Operator:
"That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir.
The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."
Customer:
"Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator:
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer:
"I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets
here."
Operator:
"That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."
Customer:
"Never mind. Just send the pizzas.
I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"
Operator:
"We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir.
If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out
getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
awkward."
Customer:
"How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
Operator:
"It says here you're in arrears on your car payments,
so your car got repo'ed.
But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed
that you'd be using it."
Customer:
"@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator:
"I'd advise watching your language, sir.
You've already got a July 2006 conviction for
cussing out a cop."
Customer:
(Speechless)
Operator:
"Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer:
"No, nothing.
Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke
your ad says I get with the pizzas."
Operator:
"I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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